Addiction.

Is there such a thing as being addicted to reading other peoples stories of their losses? I would much rather sit and read 20 other peoples stories then sit and watch a movie. I have no desire to focus my attention any where else right now. If this is part of the grieving process, then yay me! If not, I may need help.

I feel that by me reading their stories I am some how validating that their child existed. That they mattered and in return, someday, someone will read through Harbor's story and in doing so, validate HIM as well!

I especially love it when their families have added a photo of their sweet little baby! I pray that at some point I will openly share Harbor's photos. But for now, it is very hard for me to share his photos with family members, let alone the thought of sharing him with the world, through pictures. I suppose my biggest hold up is...fear of people making rude comments or making fun of him. Judging him.

Shortly after Harbor died I came across a blog with a baby about the same gestation as Harbor. This babies family shared photos, sweet, loving photos. Sad, real and devastating personal photos. I read a few comments on that blog and it made me cringe that people can be so mean and hurtful towards this tiny baby's pictures. It made me sick to think that someone might be that mean and rude if I shared Harbor. So for now, he will remain faceless to most of the world.

I especially like reading the blog posts on www.returntozerothemovie.com because it has multiple stories of so many babies that have left this world all too soon. I love that other families are reaching out and trying to break the silence of Miscarriage, Stillborn and infant loss. It is a very difficult decision to speak out and share such personal, heartache and despair with strangers and the world.