Then in Week 2, I felt our topics were even harder for me to answer. But I will share them with you as well:
Homework (Week 2) ~April 11, 2014~
Week 2: Journaling Topics
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*Write a letter to your family and friends explaining what you need from them.
Dear friends, family members, co-workers....
I am in need of your continued love, light & support. Although it has been just over 8 weeks since Harbor's death. I am still dealing with so many emotions I didn't even know, ever existed. My children are still dealing with emotions that they have never experienced before. We have experienced a loss that is devastating to US.
It will take time, months, possibly even years, for our family to work through the grief and sorrow we feel. We will cry more then usual and at times, even seem angry. But please understand that this is perfectly okay, the tears we cry are for Harbor and the memories & experiences that we will miss out on, with him.
We know how uncomfortable our situation is for most of our friends & family members to cope with. We are having a hard time coping as well. Please know that your presence can be helpful. That talking about Harbor, by name, is like music to our ears. I know some might feel like they are sparing us from heartache by not mentioning him, but the truth is we will always hurt. He was and will continue to be a part of my families lives. It's important to our family that he is recognized.
If you don't feel comfortable talking about Harbor, it is perfectly Okay to: give us hugs, write cards or notes of encouragement or well wishes, a text or a phone call saying "I was thinking of you, today!" It is perfectly okay to say "I just don't really know what to say or do for you or your family." Because truth be told...neither do we! But your presence in our lives means more now then ever before, even though we may, at times, seem distant.
The loss of Harbor has been the most difficult thing we could have been asked to endure. We know that in time we will learn to laugh & smile again, but we will need your support and understanding along the way.
Sincerely~ R
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*Journal about what your family and friends have done that hurts as well as what helps.
HURTFUL
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Belittling our loss.
Acting as though Harbor never existed.
Saying insensitive comments or remarks.
Glamorizing another persons pregnancy or complaining about a pregnancy.
Not asking to see pictures of Harbor.
Not talking to me.
Acting like...I have had enough time to grieve, time to move on.
Telling me...to be grateful that I have living children.
When calling to talk to me, you only talk about the new grand son (that was born after Harbor died.)
Not texting or calling me like before.
Not coming to the hospital when we knew we were going to deliver Harbor.
Not hugging me.
Acting as though we have the plague.
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HELPFUL
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Making a heart the same size & weight as a Harbor.
Making a necklace with Harbors: name & Birth date on it.
Making a painting to honor Harbor!
Asking to see pictures of him.
Wanting to hear his birth story.
Sending cards, filled with love & encouragement.
Hugs.
Talking to me.
Bringing Meals over.
Taking my kids for an afternoon.
Watching the my kids so I can go to Counseling.
Helping keep my laundry clean.
Helping do the dishes.
Inviting us over for dinner & games!
Letting me cry.
Crying with me.
Going to a movie with me, 2 hours away.
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After I finished Week 2's journaling topics, I really felt the need to write Thank you letters to a few key people that have stuck out to me. So I spent a few hours writing Thank you letters to friends & family members! For those that truly know me, know that I am the worlds worst Thank you letter-er. So just felt like I need to express my gratitude a tiny bit more then my heartfelt personal, verbal, Thank you's!
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