The RAW, hurtful, twang isn't as present in my daily life. At least not today. But oh how bipolar grief can be. Just the other night I literally cried myself to sleep, just sobbing over my broken heart that can't seem to be mended. The stresses of my day-to-day just got the best of me & my raging lunatic side was ever so present that evening. My calm, loving, soft spoken side was no were to be found.
My mind can't seem to sit still and focus or concentrate.
I feel as though I'm truly a failure. A failure: to my living children, to my husband, to my angel children, to my friends, to my extended family, to my photography career, to my bow making career and to everything I ever seemed interested in doing before.
I worry about, how the impact of MY grief will effect my living children. Right now I can't seem to get myself together enough to get through a full day of school work. Forget trying to keep up with the everyday life stuff. (ie: dishes, cooking, cleaning, laundry, school work, etc.)
I hate how I view my posts. Personally I feel like a broken record. Saying the same things over & over & over again. Sorry if that's how I come across. My brain is a swirling mess of: information, emotions, fear, guilt and so much more. But I can't seem to grab the words in the correct order to put a sentence together that will make any sense. (hence my title above.)
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