"Re-capping"

So bare with me a few minutes as I recap on some events that happened shortly after Harbor was born. 

~February 18, 2014~

Just days after Harbor was born, WIC contacted me to let me know that I had missed my appointment. (My appointment was on February 13.) Like I didn't already know that I had missed it. -Insert sarcasm here- I was still in the hospital having just had Harbor. So on the 18th I decided to call & figure something out. While on the phone waiting to have a WIC worker answer my call they play a message. This message goes on telling thus said listener that WIC is wonderful. (Well it has been helpful.) but the message went on. Pregnancy this & pregnancy that. WIC has now made it easier for you to enroll your new baby once it's born. 

I can see where this information can be helpful, but can I remind you that I had just experienced a late term miscarriage just days before. I tried everything in my powers to hold back tears while listening to this God awful, pregnancy/ baby filled message that KEPT REPEATING ITSELF. Are you freaking kidding me? 10 minutes on hold waiting through this painful reminder that I am not joyously expecting a baby anymore. 

Finally a WIC rep answered the phone. I informed her that I had missed my appointment because I was in the hospital having my son & that he died. She apologized and then informed me that I would have to come in to the office to pick up my vouchers. WHAT THE......???????? Did she not hear me right? So I repeat to her that my son had died. She says "I am so sorry but because you haven't turned in your paper work for your blood work we can't mail you your vouchers. You have to come in." Are you kidding me? 

About this same time I received a picture text message. (I will later fill you in on my reason for adding this in the mix and it will make sense. I promise.) 

I am still trying to figure out how I can get around coming into their office. The rep keeps telling me that I have to come in. Argh. I just wish I could have reached through the phone at that point & literally strangled the person on the other end. Whatever. Frustrated. I end our call. Apparently I'm not getting anywhere with this lady. 

I get off the phone with the WIC rep & go on to check my text messages to see who sent me a message. It was from an unknown number. The number looked familiar but I couldn't place my finger on where I knew it from. So I opened it. 

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

The picture loads & it is a newborn baby on a weight station table. And the message reads....

Introducing the newest love of my life my grandson Carter Benjamin --------!!!!!!! Can you hear my heart singing!!!!!!!!

I lost it bawling so hard. Really? Are you freaking kidding? Who the freak is sending me a text like this so soon after my loss? 

Once I read the last name of the baby it all made sense on who sent it. It was a midwife that we had enquired with just weeks before. But we had decided to not go with her because we loved the 1st one we met with. 

So I kindly sent a text back....."Congratulations! But I just lost my son at 16 weeks pregnant. I can't take anyone's good news right now. Please take my number off your call list." 

I ran to my bedroom & just hysterically cried for a good hour. During that time I texted my husband at work & informed him of what had just happened. He tried to console me from afar. But it didn't help. 

The midwife lady then sends me another text...."I am soooooooo sorry.....my sisters name is Robin and I sent the text in error......I am soooooo sorry!!!

I didn't care. I felt it was a cruel, cruel joke. Sort of, some sick prank. But unfortunately I wasn't laughing. I was truly at my lowest low. That was the straw that broke my camels back. 

I was hurt. I was angry. I was depressed. I was crushed. I was really, really pissed off. 

Not only because of this "wonderful" text of someone's good news. But because WIC was insisting that I come into their office in person. If you have never been inside of a WIC office, let me enlighten you a second....the name of the place is WIC. It stands for: Women, infant & Children. Yep! The place is infested with them. My pulse rate was sky rocket high just thinking about what I was going to have to face when I went into their office. Pregnant women just sitting there in those chairs. Or those who had just had their babies, sitting there with their car seats, strollers, and arms full with live, living, breathing babies. How in the world do they seriously expect me to come in? 

After a few hours, I called the WIC office back. Had to sit through another long repeated message, the same as before just to take to a rep. The same freaking lady answered the phone. Are you kidding me? I told her through my sobs that there was no way I was going to come in today. I didn't think it was fair that I would have to come in & sit with pregnant, happy moms and newborn babies just to get my vouchers. Can't they mail them to me? We can she says, but because you haven't turned in your blood work, paper work we can't mail them to you. We need that paper work. I said "Is the paper work for me or my son?" She said its for your son. I said "well I turned it in last month & I have it in my clear file with my folder." She then says oh I see that you turned his in last month. Oh it's for you. "Oh really? You need blood work for a pregnancy that is NO longer a pregnancy? Please tell me how this makes sense?" The state needs it otherwise we can't give you your vouchers. "Well then, I don't want my vouchers. I am not coming in to your office filled with pregnant ladies. I think its wrong & very mean of you guys to do this to people who've just been through a lot as it is." She then informs me that she can mail me my sons vouchers but vouchers for me won't be allowed to be sent to me because the lack of this 1 paper. I told her I don't care. I'm not pregnant anymore so it doesn't matter. 

Really? Was all of this madness necessary? It was my 1st major, horrible, terrible bad day after Harbor was born.